Almost 2 years

Hey everyone! I'm just shy of 2 years post-op, and am STILL super happy that I had my reduction.  I've lurked (and participated) in a few Reduction forums, so I thought I'd answer a few common questions with MY experience (your mileage may vary, naturally).

1 - Shape. Mine are a weird shape. Not just the whole boob, but around the nipples a bit too. I PERSONALLY am perfectly ok with this, as my main goal with my reduction was to get the weight gone, and it is! I'm sure if the shape or anything bothered me that badly, I could have then fixed through more surgery, but it SERIOUSLY does not bother me. Plus, I figure if they bother anyone else, that's someone who doesn't need to see me naked anyway!!

2 - Underarm Lipo. I had it. No question in my mind it was worth it. From my observations, it seems the larger reductions practically require it to make things look and feel right. I know my breast tissue went WAY back under my arms and along my sides. Now, my arms can rest down at my sides like they belong. It's nice.

3 - Scar softening. I heal pretty well, but I scar easily. My scars were HARD when they healed. It felt like wire under the skin, hard. My Plastic Surgeon (I believe in other parts of this, I just referred to him as PS?) used small injections of some sort of steroid to soften them, even around the nipples, (which I think contributed to the odd nipple shape, but maybe not). As far as fading? Mine are a bit faded, but I'm not holding my breathe on them going away. Again, your body may heal differently.

4 - Post-op bras. Right after surgery, I stayed wrapped in a light wrap-around bandage (similar to an ace bandage, but way more gauzy). After I fully healed and the swelling went down, I went and bought myself some soft cup bras. That's still what I prefer, but I have a general dislike for bras anyways.

And that's all I can think of right now. Feel free to comment or message me if you're curious or have any questions.

Still going!

 healing process is going really well. I've been seeing the chiropractor,  and my back issues are almost totally gone. I really feel like I received a life reset now. I can breathe easily. I can stand, walk, and move so much easier than I could pre-op. I thought I'd share a few new pics showing how my scars are healing!

This is my right side. The red dot towards the bottom is where my drain was.

Left side. Scars on this side are fading pretty well.

Left nipple.  

Scarring in the middle. These are fading and softening up quite well.

This is the right nipple. This is the one that had all the damage and extra healing. The scar along it is kinda hard, but getting better.

Back issues, etc.

Had another appt with my PS last week, and he put more stuff in my scars to soften a few places some more (did I mention he did that a couple months ago? He did... and most of the scars softened AMAZINGLY well). Not a lot to report in that area of my recovery. At this point, all wounds are fully healed, scars are softer or in the process of becoming so. They still itch at times, especially around my sides. Despite the lingering issues with my back, I have NO regrets about doing this surgery. There were times during my recovery, I'm not gonna lie, where I thought "What in the hell is wrong with me? WHY did I do this to myself?" and I was miserable, hating life, and feeling mildly psychotic. Not sure how much of that was the pain, the medications, feeling helpless, etc, but yeah... I was plenty miserable for a bit there. Now, I can get up, move around, BREATHE, and I'm feeling SO much better. My best friend got me to try some stuff called Thrive(vitamin/mineral supplement), and I'm starting that today and feeling excited about it (I'll be running a separate blog on that covering how I feel, link to be added here for anyone interested.) Tomorrow I have my third Chiropractic appt. My first was this Monday, my second was yesterday. My lower back and hips are out of whack, and he's been working on adjusting me. I'm also supposed to be icing (iceing? IDK) my back for 20 minutes every hour. I hate being cold though. I know it's necessary, but UGH. Not sure if I'm feeling any improvements yet, but it's not supposed to be an overnight thing anyway. The shooting pains seem to have let up. It felt like sharp pinches, or being stabbed with a needle, at random. Then again, they weren't super common anyway.

That's it for today! Leave a comment if you have anything to ask or add! No pics, as nothing has visually changed in awhile :)

Update! With pics

I'm doing good, and am happy with my healing process. My boobs have softened back down to a more natural feeling, instead of rock hard. At my last appt, my PS put some sort of steroid into my scars to soften them. It made a HUGE difference.  They are softer and more elastic than they were, and don't stick out as mich either. My right areola/nipple area has some heavy scarring.  The only thing that's really bothering me? All the damned stretch marks that popped back out! Ah well, genetic lottery loss, I guess lol.  I can now stand in lines,  stand up and cook a whole meal, and other stuff I couldn't before because my back hurt so badly after just a few minutes.  My back still has issues from the surgery,  but it is so much better, and I think it will continue to get better on its own. Not sure if I should see a chiropractor or physical therapist about it. I'll ask my PS at my next follow up.

Healing

I am healing quite well. I still have some numbness in my lower back, but that's lessening. My boobs are looking fantastic, and I can't begin to describe how amazing it is, being able to BREATHE properly. To take a deep breath, and not feel as if I have a tire on my chest. A good portion of my scars were very hard and standing out at my last appointment. My Dr didn't like that, didn't like the way they looked or felt. He injected them with some type of steroid used for that purpose, and even though it's only been a week, I can ABSOLUTELY tell the difference. Scars are softer, smoother (some are almost flat, even), and when I raise my arms, I don't feel them pull like I was before. I'd assumed that the scars were going to be something I'd have to make peace with, as they were. Sure, I know about scar reduction treatments, etc, but I'd just assumed that those treatments were something I'd have to pursue on my own, and wouldn't be able to afford. A friend of mine has more experience in the world of plastic surgery than I do, and was impressed my Dr took the initiative to treat the scars. There is definitely something to be said for a surgeon who takes pride in his work.

I have pictures to share, but they're on my tablet and I'm not, so that'll have to wait for another day. I know I haven't updated much, and I'm sure at some point, I'll stop completely. As always, if you have any questions (or anything to add!) please feel free!

Nipple pt 3

I haven't posted about my right nipple in a while.  It's healing quite well. At my last PS appt, he used some silver nitrate to burn off some excessive flesh growth (didn't hurt or anything), and its already looking wayyyy better.

I haven't posted much lately because,  to be honest,  I have been horribly whiney and pathetic and moody. I keep hearing I wasn't on the Tramadol long enough to "really" be physically addicted.  My body and attitude tell my logical side otherwise.  Plus, my foot has been really bothering me, so I saw my normal physician (an APN) and she had it xrayed... not broken,  but I "probably have a touch of arthritis in it". Um, no. I tripped, my foot statted to hurt immediately afterwards.  That's an injury,  not arthritis.  I'm not a total moron. I'm already cranky, so that aggravated me a bit. And, on top of all that, I'm pmsy as all get out this week.  Cramps are horrible, seriously.  If I were an animal,  I'd have been put out of my misery by now, lol. Ok, so it's not quite that bad, but it has been rough on me.

On the plus side, I've lost around 40lbs since just before my reduction,  so I have that going for me. Don't ask how,  cuz I can only account for about half of it.

Rambling

Another sleepless night. This time, though,  it's my foot hurting that kept me awake, plus my digestive system being a bitch. I broke and took a Tramadol for my foot. I had no idea how much pain was being blocked there until I stopped the Tramadol. Wow. In case I haven't said it before,  I hurt my foot about 3 weeks ago, tripping over a litter box. In my defense,  we don't normally have a litter box in the hallway, but the kittens were much smaller then. (And it's not in the hall any longer either, lol) Plus, I was still taking a pretty heavy dosage of Tramadol then too, and wasn't walking very well. I would call and make myself an appointment with my regular doctor today, but it's a holiday. As much as I genuinely want off the Tramadol,  I'm not a masochist, so quitting it can wait a few more days.

I've had the same bathing suit for a couple years now... a black one piece. Growing up,  I always preferred a bikini, mostly because a one piece crawled up my butt. At a certain point, though,  I had to admit that even a tankini wasn't covering my old boobs, so I got the one piece. Now that I have smaller boobs again,  I kinda want to get a bikini. Now, however,  the fun part would be finding one to cover my butt. I fully admit that I am horribly overweight. I don't like it, I am not one of those "I'm not fat, I'm curvy" types, and I'm not the most confident person on my best days, but if I found a bikini I liked,  that fit me, I would wear it in public and go swimming,  opinions of others be damned. It's strange reaching that point in my thinking,  because I used to care too much about what others thought of me, and I was much skinnier and friendlier then. Right now, my focuses are raising my kids, getting a handle on my health, and supporting my husband.

I know this is a lot of random. Can't get back to sleep right now. Brain won't shut up. I'd like a little input from readers for a future blog post,  though. What are some things you dislike about your breasts? Is there anything specific you want to know about having very large ones? Other large chested women, what are a couple things you think others might be interested in knowing,  good or bad? Guys, feel free to ask questions too! You can post them here, anonymously if you want, or on FB if you have me. I'm trying to do a post on what it's like to be very large breasted, but don't know where to start.

Effing Tramadol

So, apparently sleeplessness is one of the withdrawal effects from Tramadol. I've been soooo close to asleep several times tonight,  and then a nerve would twitch, I'd have to pee, or I'd just snap awake. Even brought the dogs in tonight so the friendly neighborhood deer wouldn't have them barking. Killer headache isn't helping me out,  and Excedrin is barely taking the edge off of it tonight. Just took a melatonin,  so hopefully that will help. Every time I start feeling like I can't do this right now, I google "Tramadol withdrawal" and read other people's stories. Granted, most of them are detoxing after months or years of usage, but it helps me to know the mood swings, irritability,  restlessness,  sleeplessness, nausea and diarrhea are all a normal part of the process. I also tell myself I should be thankful that I haven't been on it longer than I have been.... but when I'm sitting here wide awake and crying for absolutely no reason,  well, it's frustrating.

In other news, the 2 dogs who sleep in my room are sprawled out on the floor sleeping so hard a parade of deer probably wouldn't wake them. They crash hard when they sleep inside. I'm more than a little jealous.

Nerves

Some of the nerves in my back are getting better.  I know this because it randomly feels like I'm being stabbed in the back,  with objects ranging from cactus thorns to stiletto heels. I suppose that's a good thing,  but oh man can it hurt. Fortunately, it only hurts for a second.

In other news, the other night I had a "freaking moron" moment, and decided to yank on my last staple.  It didn't hurt,  but I did have to have my husband get a pair of wire snips to finish removing it. Derp. Still no idea wtf I was thinking.

Also, I'm down to half a Tramadol a day, and planning to try zero a day starting Monday. Super happy about that. Been getting some nasty headaches,  but 2 (generic, thank you to infinity, WalMart) Excedrin take care of that. I can't think of any other time in my life that I've taken a serious pain killer for longer than 1 or 2 doses. Wisdom teeth out? Took Excedrin. Ditto for period cramps, headaches, joint pains, etc. I only vaguely remember when I had my tubes tied, but I don't remember any pain meds. I had that done the day after my son was born, so my memory there is super hazy.

Regardless,  I am liking how my healing is progressing. Getting back to "normal", one day at a time.

Another update!

So, my dr appt got moved from this Weds to next.  My right nipple is healing up pretty nicely, I think. It might look a little odd when it's done healing, but might not. Not that it'll matter to me either way! Today, I finally found the pill splitter we have, and took half a Tramadol... We'll see how that goes! I haven't been posting much lately because there hasn't been much to post about. My incision areas are a little tender, sore, itchy, and tight, but not any more than can be expected.

Missed staple

So, I used the front camera on my tablet to see it, and the staple I still have is totally fine... just needs removed. No skin over it, blah blah blah.  Have an appointment with my plastic surgeon Wednesday,  so no biggie.

Itchy!

My boobs are itching like crazy,  and not along the incisions like I'd expect,  but along the tops, where no cuts were made.  Been applying lotion, but that's not helping much. I wonder how normal that is?

Oh, and I found a staple my Dr missed. Oops? Lol. As many as I had,  I can't say I'm surprised.  I can feel it (with my fingernail), not see it, so no idea if some skin was over it or what.

Edit to add: Proof I have crappy skin... look at these new stretch marks!  Gee, that might be why my boobs itch... but why am I getting them? The swelling is going down and I've been wearing a bra!

Bra shopping

Went bra shopping yesterday. First off, it was way too damn hot in the store! lol Ok, so that may have mostly been just me. Anyways, I tried on several bras, and my dear husband kept trying to try on a D-cup, so I humored him... granted, it's very much dependent on cut, style, and brand, but let's just say he knows bras better than I do! 42D fit pretty dang perfect. I really thought I'd be a C, and some brands a C fits, but still... I'm thrilled to have a bra that actually fits correctly, though! And since the swelling is way down in my boobs, driving down the road was getting a bit painful, so I'm happy to have a good bra or 3. lol

Once I get all done healing up, THEN I'll go hunting for cute bras...

Quick thoughts

I'm feeling a LOT better.  I've even gotten back into playing my video games,  so YAY for that! Yeah, I'm a huge nerd/geek, and I'm totally ok with it. Lol. Today,  I am finally going bra shopping.  I'm excited.  I'm moving around a lot easier,  although my balance is so horrible I feel like a drunk epileptic octopus missing a few legs. Gee, who'da thunk it? 17 pounds removed from your chest is pretty huge. That's like a big Thanksgiving turkey. Or a small toddler. 

Instead of stopping the Tramadol cold turkey,  like I sorta did by accident last week, I've been using it very sparingly, but taking at least 1 within 24 hours. I'm almost at 24 hours now,  and am going to see how the day goes, see how far I can push it.  I do still have some discomfort,  but not enough that I feel comfortable with being on a pain killer for it.

My back is still a problem.  My lower back feels tight, numb, and like I've got constant pressure on it. However,  when I touch it, like scratching it or whatever,  I can't feel anything through my back. It's so, so, so much better than it was, though. When I first woke up, it felt like someone replaced my back muscles with concrete,  and poured liquid fire down it. It was awful. I plan to see a chiropractor soon, and go from there. I don't really know what can be done for it, other than seeing a chiropractor,  and possibly a physical therapist. I'm not going to stress it right now,  though.  I still need to finish healing up before I get too crazy.

One day at a time.

Permanent reminder?

You might not be sure what you're looking at,  here.  If you look right in the middle of the shoulder,  you can see a darker brown stripe. That would be a possibly permanent reminder of how heavy my old boobs were. Yep, that's a bra strap bruise. I haven't worn a bra in almost a month now. I was looking in the bathroom mirror and was like, what the heck? Oh well. Those days are a thing of the past! I may never wear a bra again!  ... Just kidding.  I'm comfortable with going braless for the time being, but the swelling is going down, and bouncing around on these roadways is just... No. Not happening, lol.

Oh, and I made sure the comments were open. Feel free to post, even anonymously. 

Withdrawal

Withdrawal symptoms suck. The ringing ears,  nausea,  etc... The headaches are pretty horrid, but, to me, the mood swings are the worst. I'm watching Firefly, and tearing up at random stuff that isn't all that emotional. This too will pass, right?

Nipple, pt 2

At my last appointment,  the PS cut the dead tissue off/out of my right nipple.  It looks and sounds worse than it feels.  I don't really have much to say about it at this point. Keeping a dressing on it, hope is that the dead tissue will slough off and the rest will regrow. 

Side note, I really need to get on my desktop computer and find out if the comments on this blog are active....

Tramadol

I've been on Tramadol for pain since my reduction.  The hydrocodone didn't touch my back pain. Right now,  I don't feel I need pain killers anymore.  I tried to stop taking the Tramadol 2 days ago. Last night, I took one just to get relief from the withdrawal symptoms. From what I've been reading,  I've experienced damn near every withdrawal symptom associated with Tramadol.  Sensitivity to smells, tinnitus,  mood swings, sweats and chills, nausea, diarrhea, insomnia, and more. I've had the shakes so bad I feel like I'm vibrating, I feel like crying at random for no reason,  and lettuce has become the nastiest smelling thing ever, other than a dirty bathroom. Right now I am trying to figure out what I can eat that won't churn my stomach when I actually try to eat it. I thought I was coming down seriously ill at first. I've been reading about Tramadol withdrawal online,  and right now I'm now sure how I am going to proceed. If it was a week day,  I would call my dr's office and discuss it with him, but, just my luck,  it's a Saturday. I'm not going to take any unless I just can't handle the symptoms,  but I would prefer to not even need that. I was on 50mg, taking 1-2 every 4-6 hours, not to exceed 8 per day. I carefully monitored how many I was taking and when, and had been only taking 1 at a time, no more than 4 a day for a few days when I decided I didn't need to take any more, since I wasn't in pain.

My recommendation?  If you can, don't take Tramadol. Take something else instead. This shit blows.

Update

Got my staples all out today,  and stitches too. The PS also cut all the dead skin around my nipple,  and some dead tissue out that was under that.  I'd post a picture,  but to be perfectly honest,  I'm still a bit grossed out by it. Plus it's got a bandage on it right now, so there is that. I was watching most of it, and didn't feel a thing (no pain killers,  numbing stuff, etc.) because all the stuff was genuinely dead,  but had to look away when I realized he was cutting into a hole. Ew.

3 weeks until my next appt. In the mean time, I just need to keep that nipple taken care of.  My back is feeling much better today,  and I even walked into my appt mostly on my own. I had to hold Philip's hand for balance,  lol. I swear I am like a giant toddler right now. But things are improving,  and I'm needing to take pain killers far less, which is great. I'm very happy to have Philip home. Where I might decide making food is too much effort,  he takes care of me. Which is good, because my stomach is currently not being communicative. I have no idea when I'm hungry, full, or whatever,  so I'm just guessing. The act of eating is mostly unappealing, so I'm not eating much.

This is how far back my staples went on both sides. Yep, all the way around both sides,  only not on my back. The lower red spot is where my drain was. I don't know where the hole on my right side is, but on my left I have one just above the staples where he did lipo as well. It looks worse than it feels.

More pics

I realized I didn't have any pics of the under side of my boobs to show those staples,  so here ya go. Notice how I have very little bruising. I'm pretty happy about that,  because I thought I would be bruised to hell and back. I didn't bruise where my drains came out or where they did lipo on  my underarms either.