Update! With pics

I'm doing good, and am happy with my healing process. My boobs have softened back down to a more natural feeling, instead of rock hard. At my last appt, my PS put some sort of steroid into my scars to soften them. It made a HUGE difference.  They are softer and more elastic than they were, and don't stick out as mich either. My right areola/nipple area has some heavy scarring.  The only thing that's really bothering me? All the damned stretch marks that popped back out! Ah well, genetic lottery loss, I guess lol.  I can now stand in lines,  stand up and cook a whole meal, and other stuff I couldn't before because my back hurt so badly after just a few minutes.  My back still has issues from the surgery,  but it is so much better, and I think it will continue to get better on its own. Not sure if I should see a chiropractor or physical therapist about it. I'll ask my PS at my next follow up.

Healing

I am healing quite well. I still have some numbness in my lower back, but that's lessening. My boobs are looking fantastic, and I can't begin to describe how amazing it is, being able to BREATHE properly. To take a deep breath, and not feel as if I have a tire on my chest. A good portion of my scars were very hard and standing out at my last appointment. My Dr didn't like that, didn't like the way they looked or felt. He injected them with some type of steroid used for that purpose, and even though it's only been a week, I can ABSOLUTELY tell the difference. Scars are softer, smoother (some are almost flat, even), and when I raise my arms, I don't feel them pull like I was before. I'd assumed that the scars were going to be something I'd have to make peace with, as they were. Sure, I know about scar reduction treatments, etc, but I'd just assumed that those treatments were something I'd have to pursue on my own, and wouldn't be able to afford. A friend of mine has more experience in the world of plastic surgery than I do, and was impressed my Dr took the initiative to treat the scars. There is definitely something to be said for a surgeon who takes pride in his work.

I have pictures to share, but they're on my tablet and I'm not, so that'll have to wait for another day. I know I haven't updated much, and I'm sure at some point, I'll stop completely. As always, if you have any questions (or anything to add!) please feel free!

Nipple pt 3

I haven't posted about my right nipple in a while.  It's healing quite well. At my last PS appt, he used some silver nitrate to burn off some excessive flesh growth (didn't hurt or anything), and its already looking wayyyy better.

I haven't posted much lately because,  to be honest,  I have been horribly whiney and pathetic and moody. I keep hearing I wasn't on the Tramadol long enough to "really" be physically addicted.  My body and attitude tell my logical side otherwise.  Plus, my foot has been really bothering me, so I saw my normal physician (an APN) and she had it xrayed... not broken,  but I "probably have a touch of arthritis in it". Um, no. I tripped, my foot statted to hurt immediately afterwards.  That's an injury,  not arthritis.  I'm not a total moron. I'm already cranky, so that aggravated me a bit. And, on top of all that, I'm pmsy as all get out this week.  Cramps are horrible, seriously.  If I were an animal,  I'd have been put out of my misery by now, lol. Ok, so it's not quite that bad, but it has been rough on me.

On the plus side, I've lost around 40lbs since just before my reduction,  so I have that going for me. Don't ask how,  cuz I can only account for about half of it.

Rambling

Another sleepless night. This time, though,  it's my foot hurting that kept me awake, plus my digestive system being a bitch. I broke and took a Tramadol for my foot. I had no idea how much pain was being blocked there until I stopped the Tramadol. Wow. In case I haven't said it before,  I hurt my foot about 3 weeks ago, tripping over a litter box. In my defense,  we don't normally have a litter box in the hallway, but the kittens were much smaller then. (And it's not in the hall any longer either, lol) Plus, I was still taking a pretty heavy dosage of Tramadol then too, and wasn't walking very well. I would call and make myself an appointment with my regular doctor today, but it's a holiday. As much as I genuinely want off the Tramadol,  I'm not a masochist, so quitting it can wait a few more days.

I've had the same bathing suit for a couple years now... a black one piece. Growing up,  I always preferred a bikini, mostly because a one piece crawled up my butt. At a certain point, though,  I had to admit that even a tankini wasn't covering my old boobs, so I got the one piece. Now that I have smaller boobs again,  I kinda want to get a bikini. Now, however,  the fun part would be finding one to cover my butt. I fully admit that I am horribly overweight. I don't like it, I am not one of those "I'm not fat, I'm curvy" types, and I'm not the most confident person on my best days, but if I found a bikini I liked,  that fit me, I would wear it in public and go swimming,  opinions of others be damned. It's strange reaching that point in my thinking,  because I used to care too much about what others thought of me, and I was much skinnier and friendlier then. Right now, my focuses are raising my kids, getting a handle on my health, and supporting my husband.

I know this is a lot of random. Can't get back to sleep right now. Brain won't shut up. I'd like a little input from readers for a future blog post,  though. What are some things you dislike about your breasts? Is there anything specific you want to know about having very large ones? Other large chested women, what are a couple things you think others might be interested in knowing,  good or bad? Guys, feel free to ask questions too! You can post them here, anonymously if you want, or on FB if you have me. I'm trying to do a post on what it's like to be very large breasted, but don't know where to start.

Effing Tramadol

So, apparently sleeplessness is one of the withdrawal effects from Tramadol. I've been soooo close to asleep several times tonight,  and then a nerve would twitch, I'd have to pee, or I'd just snap awake. Even brought the dogs in tonight so the friendly neighborhood deer wouldn't have them barking. Killer headache isn't helping me out,  and Excedrin is barely taking the edge off of it tonight. Just took a melatonin,  so hopefully that will help. Every time I start feeling like I can't do this right now, I google "Tramadol withdrawal" and read other people's stories. Granted, most of them are detoxing after months or years of usage, but it helps me to know the mood swings, irritability,  restlessness,  sleeplessness, nausea and diarrhea are all a normal part of the process. I also tell myself I should be thankful that I haven't been on it longer than I have been.... but when I'm sitting here wide awake and crying for absolutely no reason,  well, it's frustrating.

In other news, the 2 dogs who sleep in my room are sprawled out on the floor sleeping so hard a parade of deer probably wouldn't wake them. They crash hard when they sleep inside. I'm more than a little jealous.

Nerves

Some of the nerves in my back are getting better.  I know this because it randomly feels like I'm being stabbed in the back,  with objects ranging from cactus thorns to stiletto heels. I suppose that's a good thing,  but oh man can it hurt. Fortunately, it only hurts for a second.

In other news, the other night I had a "freaking moron" moment, and decided to yank on my last staple.  It didn't hurt,  but I did have to have my husband get a pair of wire snips to finish removing it. Derp. Still no idea wtf I was thinking.

Also, I'm down to half a Tramadol a day, and planning to try zero a day starting Monday. Super happy about that. Been getting some nasty headaches,  but 2 (generic, thank you to infinity, WalMart) Excedrin take care of that. I can't think of any other time in my life that I've taken a serious pain killer for longer than 1 or 2 doses. Wisdom teeth out? Took Excedrin. Ditto for period cramps, headaches, joint pains, etc. I only vaguely remember when I had my tubes tied, but I don't remember any pain meds. I had that done the day after my son was born, so my memory there is super hazy.

Regardless,  I am liking how my healing is progressing. Getting back to "normal", one day at a time.

Another update!

So, my dr appt got moved from this Weds to next.  My right nipple is healing up pretty nicely, I think. It might look a little odd when it's done healing, but might not. Not that it'll matter to me either way! Today, I finally found the pill splitter we have, and took half a Tramadol... We'll see how that goes! I haven't been posting much lately because there hasn't been much to post about. My incision areas are a little tender, sore, itchy, and tight, but not any more than can be expected.